Unlike the awesomely humorous comedian and occasional Scotsman Craig Ferguson, when given the choice between safety and adventure, I tend to sit my happy ass down and wait for safety to become safer before making my way into anything remotely resembling an adventure. I have been known to shy away from safer side from time to time, and this was definitely the adventure for it.
Dlo came to me with the idea of picking up and going to Kentucky Splash for the a day away from work getaway. And trust me, those are few and far between. So we packed the car, myself, Dlo, BabyB, L.I.Am, and BJO for the adventure of a ... tuesday afternoon.
Our first stop on our adventure laden trip was a little place called
Kentucky Splash, located in a small little town called Williamsburg, KY. The place was a little tricky to find, given the incorrect address on the website and GPS being just a little off. We headed down a side road to almost certain danger until Dlo convinced me to turn the car back around. Finally, we made it. A beautiful site indeed. There were plenty of other things to do, however we had our minds set on one thing, and one thing only: GETTING WET!!!. We paid the admission fee, changed into our clothes, and proceeded to the one area that we knew everyone could enjoy! TADPOLE ISLAND!
Tadpole Island was great for the kids because there's no place that is deeper than a foot. That gave BabyB and L.I.Am the opportunity to act as silly as they could in the water. And trust me, silly they acted! The both were skiddish as first, especially with the large water bucket on top of the play area that emptied out gallons of water every minute or so. However, they warmed up to everything, even the elephant slide, before the end of the day.
BJO and Dlo were watching the kids, so I took the opportunity to partake in one of the rides at the park. I forget the name of it, but it looked like a double helix. It was an interesting ride. Once again, keep in mind, between safety and adventure, I'm a puss. So it was out of the ordinary for me to climb the steps, stare into the water tube, and plunge into oblivion. The good news is I knew that oblivion ended at the bottom, and if the five year olds could do it, well, I certainly wasn't going to be upstaged. Once quick ride to the bottom, a couple unexpected curse words as my momentum shifted my insides from one side and then back to the other, and then the ride was over. I stood up, walked back over to the the tadpole area and met Dlo with BabyB and L.I.Am, all distraught because they had missed my momentous ride.
Our next adventure was an attempt to float the lazy river. However, we established that the floats were simply too big for the kids to safely ride in, or at least enjoy riding in. I made an attempt to sit in one of the floats so at least of the kids could ride on me, but that was an epic fail in itself, so we gave up on the Lazy River and decided that perhaps we'd have better luck and more fun in the Wave Pool.
I took the opportunity to break away again for a minute, enjoying the waves crashing back and forth within the confines of the pool. It didn't last long before this wave was shut off, and as I looked back toward the "shore" I noticed that BabyB and L.I.Am were having there fun in the shallow portion, sliding down the small slide and enjoying the gentler waves. After the waves started back up I took the opportunity to sit with both kids and let the waves hit them. I'm sure L.I.Am found the experience reminiscent to the real thing from 2010. However, BabyB had never experienced anything like this before. But she still enjoyed every minute of it. However, the kids quickly felt that being knocked out by waves was just something that they had had enough of so we made our way back to the tadpole island...
...until a wild Lazy River appeared and L.I.Am demanded that we get in it. Keep in mind that we established earlier that nothing was small enough for him to ride in safely or comfortably. After discussing this with him, we came to the only logical conclusion: he would ride me instead. Good thing I have plenty of fat and can be used as a flotation device in an emergency. I held him and we walked through the Lazy River, with L.I.Am standing up every now and again, amazed that he could stand in such water. We finally reached the end, and I must confess that is the most Unlaziest River I have ever floated, including the Staunton and James River...
LUNCH TIME We spent most of the rest of the day after lunch lounging out in the Tadpole area. BabyB discovered her affinity for going down the turtle slide, and L.I.Am continued to conquer his fear of falling water. L.I.Am did manage to crawl up the rope latter while I "wasn't looking." He then managed to do it again when Dlo "wasn't looking." We were so proud of him. It was during this moment that I decided to go after adventure numero dos on the day, and take on another water slide. I climbed to the top with such ease, and even though the ride was much different, and much quicker, the result was the same. I still enjoyed it and would do it again in a heartbeat though.
We spent the rest of the day watching L.I.Am slide down the elephant and BabyB slide down the turtle. There wasn't much time left anyway, for closing time was quickly drawing nigh. We gathered our belongings, changed out of water laden clothes and back into something a little more ... dry ... and headed out to quite possibly the coolest display of nature I have yet to experience thus far in life:
Cumberland Falls is nothing short of amazing. It's awesome to watch, no matter what angle you are watching it from. We had an opportunity to walk the trail a little and look back up at the falls, producing a beautiful view. Dlo also had the greatest idea in the world, even though the execution was lacking just a little. She bought some paper lanterns and tried to light them and set them afloat over the falls. Without going into too much detail, it was quite a cute fail. The kids still enjoyed the gesture, and if they didn't I really did.
After all the commotion it was time to get something to eat. Dlo talked me into Steak&Shake after promise of AYCE Pancakes. At this point, that's the only thing on my mind. We arrived in great fashion, took our seats, and I started working on the little toys of the kids. My mind is made up. Steak&Shake will rue the day that I ever stepped foot into their establishment to ... what? Only for breakfast you say. Oh ... I need a minute ...
I settled for a burger with an egg on it. I forget what it's called, but it was quite delicious. The kids looked adorable with their little Steak&Shake hats on, but as you can imagine, that didn't last long. We enjoyed our experience, but on the way out the door we left one of our party members behind...poor Gordon. L.I.Am has been surprisingly ... patient, that he doesn't have his favorite toy. However, there will be an emergency run to London tomorrow to rescue Gordon. Call it "Gordon and the Great Rescue." Take that HIT...
Currently Playing: Ellie Goulding - Lights
